Woman of the Day KATHRYN BIGELOW

Kathryn Bigelow - the first female director in history to win the Academy Award for best picture with The Hurt Locker, which she also produced.  In addition, she's the first woman to win the BAFTA for Best Director (also for The Hurt Locker).

She's only the fourth woman in history to be nominated for the Academy Award.  The other three were Jane Campion, Lina Wertmuller and Sofia Coppola.  I think that the quote below tells us all we need to know about her opinion on women directing.

If there's specific resistance to women making movies, I just choose to ignore that as an obstacle for two reasons: I can't change my gender, and I refuse to stop making movies. It's irrelevant who or what directed a movie, the important thing is that you either respond to it or you don't. There should be more women directing; I think there's just not the awareness that it's really possible. It is.

Kathryn Bigelow

She spoke to one journalist at The Governors Ball, and said: "girls who dream of being directors should believe that anything they want to happen can happen"

The Hurt Locker is vintage Bigelow, gripping characters, riveting action and explosives.  Kathryn Bigelow proves that female directors can direct action to equal any male director. She has long been demonstrating this. 

This is her acceptance speech from the 82nd Academy Awards:

"This really is when ... there is no other way to describe this.   It's the moment of a lifetime.

First of all, this is so extraordinary to be in the company of such powerful - my fellow nominees -such powerful film makers who have inspired me and I have admired for -- some of whom -- for decades.

Thank you to every member of the Academy.   This is again the moment of a lifetime.

I would not be standing here if it wasn't for Mark Bohl who risked his life for the words on the page and wrote such a courageous screenplay that I was fortunate enough to have a great cast bring that screenplay to life. Jeremy Renner. Anthony Mackey and Brian Garrity.

And I think the secret to directing is collaborating and I had truly an extraordinary group of collaborators in my crew:  Barry Akroyd and Kelly Juliason, and Bob Murawski, Chris Innis, Ray Beckett, Richard Stutzman.  And if I could also just thank my producing partners, Greg Shapiro and my wonderful agent Brian Suberal, and the people of Jordan who were so hospitable to us when we were shooting.

And I'd like to dedicate this to the women and men in the military who risk their lives on a daily basis in Iraq and Afghanistan and around the world and may they come home safe.

Thank you"

The Hurt Locker Trailer

I always want to make films. I think of it as a great opportunity to comment on the world in which we live. Perhaps just because I just came off The Hurt Locker and I'm thinking of the war and I think it's a deplorable situation. It's a great medium in which to speak about that. This is a war that cannot be won, why are we sending troops over there? Well, the only medium I have, the only opportunity I have, is to use film. There will always be issues I care about.

Kathryn Bigelow

Artist & Film Maker

Kathryn Bigelow's creative journey started in earnest in 1970 - she went to San Francisco Art Institute.  It says on the IMDB website that she was a very talented painter.  She graduated in 1972 as a Bachelor of Fine Arts and went on to be accepted into a scholarship program in New York where one of her professors was Susan Sontag. 

Whereas painting is a more rarefied art form, with a limited audience, I recognized film as this extraordinary social tool that could reach tremendous numbers of people.

Kathryn Bigelow

Bigelow then attended Colombia University where she earned her master's degree in film.  Her first short film, The Set-Up was a twenty minute deconstruction of violence in film. 

Her first feature length film came in 1982 and was an outlaw-biker movie The Loveless which starred Willem Dafoe. 

After this, came my favourite Kathryn Bigelow film, and the one that first brought her onto my 'must see film-maker' radar.  The film was Near Dark and Kathryn Bigelow co-wrote it.  It's a vampire film - and for my money it's also one of the best vampire films ever made. 

Near Dark Trailer

After Near Dark she made Blue Steel a cop-action thriller starring Jamie Lee Curtis as a tough New York cop, fighting to clear her name.  Around this time she also wrote an episode of The Equalizer a P.I. Series starring Edward Woodward.  The episode was entitled 'Lady Cop'.

Blue Steel Trailer

After Blue Steel came one of my favourite action films.  Point Break - a rip-roaring, fast-paced bank-heist film about a group of dare-devil surfers who rob banks dressed as ex presidents.  An FBI undercover agent becomes one of them and his loyalties are tested to the limit.  The film starred Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves.  At that time, people would say women can't direct action films.  I'd enjoy asking them if they thought Point Break was a good action film - which they invariably did and then I'd let them know who directed it! 

Point Break Trailer

After Point Break, she went back to TV, directing Wild Palms and then on to the science fiction feature film, Strange Days starring Ralph Fiennes and Angela Bassett.  After this came three episodes of the ground-breaking cop show Homicide: Life on the Street and the film The Weight of Water which is about a journalist investigating a murder from the past, starring Sean Penn and Catherine McCormack.

The new millenium dawned and in 2002 Bigelow created K19: The Widowmaker a film about the troubled crew of a Russian submarine, starring Harrison Ford and Liam Neeson, she also produced this film and after it produced and directed The Hurt Locker - the rest on that is history!

This year saw her at the helm of The Miraculous Year - an HBO TV pilot starring Susan Sarandon.  Currently Kathryn is working on a yet untitled international thriller - she'll be the producer and director of the project. 

I've spent a fair amount of time thinking about what my aptitude is, and I really think it's to explore and push the medium. It's not about breaking gender roles or genre traditions.

Kathryn Bigelow

Kathryn Bigelow is a hugely respected and much celebrated film-maker and desrevedly so, she's been a member of the jury at the Sundance Film Festival in 1990, a member of the jury at the Venice Film Festival in 1998 and a member of jury at the Berlin International Film Festival in 2003.  Long may she continue to break-ground and entertain us. 

Kathryn Bigelow on Directing

Theatre of the Damned - The Documentary

I have been given the huge honour of documenting the journey of the 'Theatre of the Damned' team throughout the course of their first London Horror Festival and beyond!

'Theatre of the Damned' are a company whose work is influenced by the Grand Guignol tradition. 

The Grand Guignol

The Grand Guignol operated in Paris for over sixty years and ended in 1962. It produced one-act plays of up to 40 minutes in length and was famous for it's violent works of horror. The theatre was based in the middle of the Parisian red light district, so visitors would have to pass by prostitutes in doorways on their way through the shadowy alleyways which  led to the theatre space.

London’s Grand Guignol was established in the1920s at the Little Theatre in the West End. It was graced by the likes of the legendary Sybil Thorndyke and Noël Coward.  Some Grand Guignol plays were banned by the Lord Chamberlain, including a previously unpublished work by Coward himself. 


GET RICAHRD HAND'S EXCELLENT GRAND GUIGNOL BOOKS - SEE THE LINK AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS BLOG


Theatre of the Damned - The Documentary

As I excitedly approached the Theatre of the Damned rehearsal room for the first time, laden down with the camera and sound kit, I was reminded of Richard Hand's opening comments from his seminal book on Grand Guignol - 'Grand Guignol - French Theatre of Horror':

"Hidden amongst the decandence and sleaze of Pigalle, with it's roughnecks and whores, in the shadows of a quiet cobbled alleyway, stands a little theatre".

Now, I'm not suggestting that Bethnal Green is either decadent or sleazy!  Far from it.  But the mood created by this phrase seemed perfect to me as I approached the 'rehearsal space of the damned'.

My feeling of anticipation as I passed the railway arches, the boozer by the canal and the gas works was summed up by Richard Hand's words 'in the shadows of a quiet cobbled alleyway'!  Because amidst this desolate urban landscape something vibrant, exciting and unique was happening. 

It was a dusky October evening, the mood was perfect.  I took out my camera and filmed the scene as I approached.   I also realised that I really have to go to Paris, hopefully with the co-artistic directors of Theatre of the Damned and film them walking the streets around the Pigalle and in the alleyway leading to the Grand Guignol.  And we must arrive at dusk!

The alleyway leading to the Grand Guignol Theatre in Paris.

The Rehearsal of the Damned did not disappoint.  It was no ordinary rehearsal.  Something different was happening within these walls.  I entered the space "eager to escape the eerie mood of my surroundings" and to be lost in their 'world of the damned'.  These rehearsals were intensive and stimulating and I have been handed the high priviledge of absolute access, I felt extremely lucky.


READ MORE ABOUT THE 'THEATRE OF THE DAMNED AT THE LINK BELOW


Earlier, I'd interviewed Tom Richards and Stewart Pringle, co-artistic directors of Theatre of the Damned -  I spoke to them at the 'The Courtyard Theatre' the venue for the London Horror Festival.  We discussed their expectations both for the festival and for the future of their company and we'd spoken about the audience, of which Richard Hand says:

"Most commentators agree that one of the most remarkable features of the Grand Guignol audience was it's eclectic nature, the ability of theatre to attract support from across the whole spectrum of society...this ability to transcend class boundaries is what defines Grand Guignol as truly popular theatre"

Having watched Stewart and Tom rehearse their actors I have absolutely no doubt they'll attract support from across a broad spectrum of society indeed.  Theatre goers and non-theatre goers alike will enjoy their work. 

I cannot wait to get back into the fray with them and film the next stage of the shows development.  They have invited me to film the all night 'get in' of the damned - but in the meantime I'll be filming another rehearsal and interviewing the guys mid-rehearsal process.


GET YOUR TICKETS FOR THE LONDON HORROR FESTIVAL AT THE LINK BELOW.


Onwards ever onwards...during the course of my research I've also looked at the following topics:

The Resurgence of Horror Theatre

The recent, and ongoing success of West End productions such as The Woman in Black and Ghost Stories has demonstrated that there will always be a strong core audience for horror theatre.  In fact, it's safe to suggest that audiences will go in their droves to seek out horror theatre.  This bodes very well for Theatre of the Damned and their endeavours, but they do not stand alone.  Other companies are out there with them, young companies whose passion, dedication and commitment to horror theatre will soon be available for us all to enjoy at the upcoming LONDON HORROR FESTIVAL.

I'm hoping to catch up with some of these other companies during the course of the festival and interview them for the documentary, because whilst it is basically the story of one company it is important to note that there is a resurgence of horror theatre. 

In the US, there is a Grand Guignol company called Thrill Peddlars, based in San Fransisco who have been active for some years -  and they too have been featured in a documentary "Grand Guignol: A Theatrical Tradition" which was recently included as a bonus feature on Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd DVD.  The US also has Shocktoberfest a yearly horror festival - at which companies such as Thrill Peddlars mount productions. 

Here in the UK things are becoming very active horror-side. 

There is, of course Theatre of the Damned who are behind the LONDON HORROR FESTIVAL - but joining them will be Le Nouveau Guignol a second London based Grand Guignol company who are "commited to reviving the rarely performed plays of the Parisian Theatre du Grand Guignol" under the Artistic Directorship of Rachel Ryder.  In 2010, Le Nouveau Guignol had a run of rep shows at the Old Red Lion Theatre.  They're currently rehearsing 'Orgy at the Lighthouse and Other Dark Tales' to be included in the LONDON HORROR FESTIVAL programme of events. 

Also joining Theatre of the Damned and Le Nouveau Guignol at festival will be nine other theatre companies who specialise in horror-theatre. 

Now that's what I call a horror theatre resurgence! 


The Psycho-Biddy Genre or Grand Dame Guignol

This outstanding sub-genre is commonly known as known as 'psyhco biddy' or 'hagsploitation' and is widely believed to be dervied from the Grand Guignol genre.  Basically, psycho biddy offerings generally exist in film, and are usually chamber pieces - neat theatrical stories concerning a woman trapped in some way, or those of a woman who has trapped somebody in some way.  The roles are mainly 'crones', the matriarch, the malevolent grandmother, the nanny, the woman 'past her best', the terrifying and dominant psychopath.  That sort of thing.  Psycho Biddy or Grande Dame Guignol is a fusion of two key concepts - the older woman and Grand Guignol. The older woman is often powerful, flamboyant or eccentric. In other words strong, present and nuts! 

When looking at the history of Psycho Biddy, we can't begin to imagine the impact that films such as Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962) would have had when they were released. 

Psycho Biddy uses suspense, realistic violence and psychological intensity and follows in the gothic horror tradition and arguably, that of Grand Guignol - to my mind the Psycho Biddy genre keeps gothic horror and Grand Guignol alive.

Many older female performers have been redescovered in the genre and many strong female performers have made a name for themselves within it too. These include:

Bette Davis
Joan Crawford
Ellen Burstyn
Kathy Bates
Barbara Stanwyck
Elizabeth Taylor
Shelley Winters
Lousie Fletcher

Psycho Biddy or Grand Dame Guignol attracts the very best. 

Shortly before the release of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, an advert had appeared in the Hollywood Reporter.  It read:

“Situation Wanted, Women/Artists.  Mother of three, divorcée. American.  Thirty years experience as an actress in motion pictures.  Mobile still and more affable than rumor would have it.   Wants steady employment in Hollywood"

The advertiser was Bette Davis. The Oscar-winning star had been suffering a shortage of opportunities for nearly a decade.  By the time her ad was published though, Baby Jane was about to be released.

• Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

Scripted by Lukas Heller, who also wrote the screenplay for 'Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte', 'Whatever Happened to Baby Jane' is set in a decaying Hollywood mansion, where Jane Hudson (Bette Davis), a former child star looks after her sister Blanche (Joan Crawford), a film star forced to retire after a crippling accident, they live together in virtual isolation.  You could chew on the tension in their relationship which redefines sibling rivalry.

Blanche is confined to a wheelchair because Jane ran her over with the car while drunk, even though she has no memory of it.  As time goes by, Jane exercises greater and greater control over her sister, intercepting her letters and ensuring that few if anyone from the outside has any contact with her.  As Jane slowly loses her mind, she torments her sister terribly - one of the greatest films of all time. 

• Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte

Charlotte Hollis, an aging recluse deluded into a state of dementia by horrible memories and hallucinations, lives in a secluded house where, thirty-seven years before, John Mayhew her married lover, was beheaded and mutilated by an unknown assailant. 

• The Night Walker

Written by Robert Bloch, who penned the original novel 'Psycho' and went on to write several Alfred Hitchcock Hour and Tales from the Darkside episodes, The Night Walker starred the sublime Barbara Stanwyk and told the story of a wealthy woman terrorized by recurring dreams of her jealous, blind husband who supposedly burned to death in a recent fire. She tries to convince her lawyer that her nightmares are real.

• The Nanny

Scripted by Hammer Horror's Jimmy Sangster and starring the spectacular Bette Davis - who gives one of her most remarkable performances as the dutiful servant of an upper class British family who's spent her life caring for the children of wealthy individuals and neglecting herself.  The nanny is trapped by a deep dark secret from her past.

• Flowers in the Attic

Based on the fabulous novel by Virginia Andrews, this screenplay was penned by Jeffrey Bloom a TV writer who'd worked on series such as Columbo, Flowers In The Attic starred the incredible Louise Fletcher - best known for her performance as Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest (a character who could be described as a psycho biddy in her own right!)  Flowers In The Attic tells the story of a mother, who after her husband dies takes her kids off to live with their grandparents in a huge old house. However, the kids are kept hidden in a room just below the attic, visited only by their mother who becomes less and less concerned about them and their failing health, and more concerned about herself and the inheritence she plans to win back from her dying father, to the point of murder. 

• Misery

With an original story by Stephen King and a screenplay by William Goldman you can't go far wrong.  Add Rob Reiner as the director and the unbelievably talented Kathy Bates to the mix and we have lift off - and a bag of chips!  The story starts when novelist Paul Sheldon is on his way home from Colorado after completing his latest book, when he crashes his car in a freak blizzard. He's critically injured, but is rescued by former nurse Annie Wilkes, Paul's "number one fan".  Annie takes Paul back to her remote house in the mountains.  Unfortunately for Paul, Annie is also an absolute lunatic and when she discovers that Paul has killed off her favourite heroine in his novel, the resulting scene shatters all expectations!



Links

Theatre of the Damned website:  http://www.theatreofthedamned.com/

London Horror Festival website: http://www.londonhorrorfestival.com/  GET YOUR TICKETS HERE

Thrill Peddlar's website:  http://thrillpeddlers.com/

Le Nouveau Guignol: http://www.nouveauguignol.co.uk/

Richard Hand's books (Which I thoroughly recommend):

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Grand-Guignol-French-Theatre-Performance-Studies/dp/085989696X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1318668635&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Londons-Guignol-Theatre-Performance-Studies/dp/0859897923/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b

A fun Horror Theatre website:  http://www.horror-theatre.com/

Woman of the Day VIOLA SPOLIN

For a short while on my facebook account, I've been discovering and sharing a woman of the day.  Some of these women have been my personal SHEROES (thank you for the description Maya Angelou!) All I know is that all of these women have been inspiring, real or fictional, from any walk of life...they are all outstanding, motivating and amazing. 

I've been completing this task as a challenge to myself to discover a little more every day about women's stories. 

I'm extending my task to BLOGGER today! 

SO...

WOMAN OF THE DAY

VIOLA SPOLIN

"She has genius and shares it" - Valerie Harper

In the 1920s, a young Viola Spolin studied with Neva Boyd at the Recreational Training School in Chigago.  Neva taught a one-year educational program in group games, gymnastics, dancing, dramatic arts, play theory, and social problems. (Her book 'Handbook of Recreational Games' contains descriptions for 300 childrens games and their uses)

Inspired by her training Viola Spolin began to explore the use of games, storytelling and folkdance as tools for stimulating creative expression.  Along with Neva Boyd, she started out on a life-long journey to explore this.  The godmother of improvisation was born!

During her extraordinary life as a theatre practitioner Viola went on to work extensively in professional, educational, community and children's theatre.  Her techniques have massively impacted on so much work created today by actors, directors, writers and educationalists.  She has also inspired the worlds of social work, mental health and psychology.

Her book 'Improvisation for the Theater' sets her apart as the go to person for inspiration in practice. 
I certainly use this book, along with the excellent 'Theater Game File' and her others.  I use them constantly in the course of my work and I always strongly recommend others to use them too. 

Viola Spolin died in 1994, but her legacy lives on through the techniques that she created.  There is also the Spolin Centre, which carrys on exploring her techniques. One day I hope to visit.  It was run for some time by her son Paul Sills, who was a key player at THE SECOND CITY improvisation theatre in Chicago.  Another on the list of places that I must go!

The Spolin Centre website is well worth a visit:  http://www.spolin.com/

As is The Second City website: http://www.secondcity.com/history/


As for this posting, the last words belong to the magnificent Viola Spolin:

• Play touches and stimulates vitality, awakening the whole person – mind, body, intelligence and creativity

• Everyone can act. Everyone can improvise. Anyone who wishes to can play in the theater and learn to become 'stage-worthy.'  We learn through experience and experiencing, and no one teaches anyone anything. This is as true for the infant moving from kicking and crawling to walking as it is for the scientist with his equations. 

• If the environment permits it, anyone can learn whatever they choose to learn; and if the individual permits it, the environment will teach him everything it has to teach. 'Talent' or 'lack of talent' have little to do with it.

• Through spontaneity we are re-formed into ourselves. It creates an explosion that for the moment frees us from handed-down frames of reference, memory choked with old facts and information and undigested theories and techniques of other people's findings. Spontaneity is the moment of personal freedom when we are faced with reality, and see it, explore it and act accordingly. In this reality the bits and pieces of ourselves function as an organic whole. It is the time of discovery, of experiencing, of creative expression.

• We learn through experience and experiencing, and no one teaches anyone anything. This is as true for the infant moving from kicking to crawling to walking as it is for the scientist with his equations. If the environment permits it, anyone can learn whatever he chooses to learn; and if the individual permits it, the environment will teach him everything it has to teach.

My hat is high!

The Balloons Have It...

There's magic in many unexpected things...not half.

Consider the simple balloon.

A Balloon, if you will.

Who knew that such a world of possibilities would be gained from a small air filled rubberised novelty item? 

Well, Keith Johnstone knew (http://www.keithjohnstone.com/) being the maestro of play, of course he knew.  I attended one of Keith's courses in London and he used balloons to assist with character dynamics.   It was truly amazing work. 

My creative balloon journey began though with Teresa Arajuzo of Stone Crabs Theatre (http://www.stonecrabs.co.uk/).  I was attending a brilliant and inspiring weekend workshop with Teresa - we'd come back from lunch to be asked to participate in a relaxation exercise on the floor.   We came to the end of this experience, lying with our eyes closed, all chilled out and ready for action, when music started to play.  When we opened our eyes we were surrounded with scores of balloons - it didn't take long for the fun to begin. 

Blow Gabriel Blow!

Balloons have made quite a reappearance for me this month...I've been using them in SCAM rehearsals with New Strides Productions - using them as a means by which to playfully explore relationship dynamics and to discover possibilities within the text.   

My beam could not have been broader during this process - rehearsal at its best.  We were in a gazebo, somewhere in Coldingham, doing an 'anger run' with balloons!  The actors went peanuts, and beautiful, chaotic balloon carnage followed...more importantly, the text flew out of them in a dynamic, authentic fashion and there was a very real sense of risk in the scene.  It was a joy to witness.

My balloon journey was randomly continued with a bunch of kids in a school in South London - we were engaging in a physical comedy workshop...and the balloons became the source of all inspiration.  The hit of the month.  A delightful afternoon was had by all...especially me!

One man and his balloons - now that's what I call inspiration!

On each occasion with the balloons:

We felt safe.

We felt like being a bit silly.

We felt the need to be playful.

After all, balloons are fun...with or without strings attached.

Here's to wherever balloons can take us! 

They can make us want to sing:

    99 Red Balloons

They can be the impetus for higher thinking (no pun intended)

Sylvia Plath, if you please:

Since Christmas they have lived with us,
Guileless and clear,
Oval soul-animals,
Taking up half the space,
Moving and rubbing on the silk

Invisible air drifts,
Giving a shriek and pop
When attacked, then scooting to rest, barely trembling.
Yellow cathead, blue fish--------
Such queer moons we live with

Instead of dead furniture!
Straw mats, white walls
And these traveling
Globes of thin air, red, green,
Delighting

The heart like wishes or free
Peacocks blessing
Old ground with a feather
Beaten in starry metals.
Your small

Brother is making
His balloon squeak like a cat.
Seeming to see
A funny pink world he might eat on the other side of it,
He bites,

Then sits
Back, fat jug
Contemplating a world clear as water.
A red
Shred in his little fist.

Balloons!  Balloons!  Balloons!

FINDING INSPIRATION

SOME PEOPLE I ADMIRE AND AM INSPIRED BY:

I seem to have run in a great circle, and met myself again on the starting line - Jeanette Winterson (Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit)

To be ill adjusted to a deranged world is not a breakdown – Jeanette Winterson

We do not love someone because they are beautiful. They are beautiful because we love them – Elizabeth Gilbert

What is the robbing of a bank compared to the founding of a bank? - Bertolt Brecht

 If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile - Lynda Barry

 All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand – Steven Wright

There’s to be no fighting in the war room – Dr Strangelove

We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns - Tom Waits

In the forest, there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. Every day, the straight tree would say to the crooked tree, "Look at me...I'm tall, and I'm straight, and I'm handsome. Look at you...you're all crooked and bent over. No one wants to look at you." And they grew up in that forest together. And then one day the loggers came, and they saw the crooked tree and the straight tree, and they said, "Just cut the straight trees and leave the rest." So the loggers turned all the straight trees into lumber and toothpicks and paper. And the crooked tree is still there, growing stronger and stranger every day – Tom Waits

The big print giveth and the small print taketh away - Tom Waits

I have a large seashell collection which I keep scattered on the beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen it?  - Steven Wright

When I first read the dictionary, I thought it was a long poem about everything – Steven Wright

I need one of those baby-monitors for my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about – Steven Wright

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark – Steven Wright

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize – Steven Wright

Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe - Neil Gaiman (The Sandman)

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up a whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love  - "Rose Walker" in The Sandman by Neil Gaiman

This is intimacy: the trading of stories in the dark – Elizabeth Gilbert

I met a lady once, almost a hundred years old, and she told me, 'There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. How much do you love me? And Who's in charge? - Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

Have you ever noticed that other people’s stuff is shit and your shit is stuff? – George Carlin

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed – George Carlin

I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, "What's wrong?" Nothing. "Well, it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile." Yeah, you know it takes more energy to point that out than it does to leave me alone? - Bill Hicks

The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly coloured, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while. Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, "Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say, "Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride." And we … kill those people. "Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real." It's just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok … But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money.  Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love.  The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defences each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace – Bill Hicks

Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true: I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally, I lean toward unlimited rights - I feel, for instance, I have the right to do anything I please. But, if I do something you don't like, I think you have the right to kill me. So where you gonna find a fairer fucking deal than that?  George Carlin

When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice - Steven Wright

An actress can only play a woman. I'm an actor, I can play anything - Whoopi Goldberg

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? Lily Tomlin

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs - Lily Tomlin

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Ooohhh!' — Jack Kerouac (On the Road)

Happy.  Just in my swim shorts, barefooted, wild-haired, in the red-fire dark, singing, swigging wine, spitting, jumping, running—that's the way to live.  All alone and free in the soft sands of the beach by the sigh of the sea out there, that's all — Jack Kerouac (The Dharma Bums)

To you, I'm an atheist. To God, I'm the loyal opposition - Woody Allen

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific – Lily Tomlin

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work ... I want to achieve immortality through not dying – Woody Allen

I believe that there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government – Woody Allen

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good – Woody Allen

Most of us are trying to live an authentic life. Deep down, we want to take off our game face and be real and imperfect. There is a line from Leonard Cohen’s song “Anthem” that serves as a reminder to me when I get into that place where I’m trying to control everything and make it perfect. The line is, “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” So many of us run around spackling all of the cracks, trying to make everything look just right. This line helps me remember the beauty of the cracks (and the messy house and the imperfect manuscript and the too-tight jeans). It reminds me that our imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together. Imperfectly, but together – Brene Brown

One of the most moving talks I have ever come across

Benjamin Zander on Possibility (TED Talks)

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem

A feminist is anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of women and men – Gloria Steinem

Write it. Shoot it. Publish it. Crochet it, sauté it, whatever. MAKE IT HAPPEN - Joss Whedon

Equality is not a concept. It's not something we should be striving for. It's a necessity. Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women, and the misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance, and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and woman who's confronted with it. We need equality now - Joss Whedon

The ALAN files.

I'm preparing for the final few days of SCAM rehearsals this weekend. 
I am one for instigating play at every stage of rehearsal. 

I love to play. 

And here's a remarkable speech about play:

Dr Stuart Brown's TED speech on PLAY

As I said, I absolutely and wholeheartedly love playing.  I love instigating play, I love making discoveries through play.  Be it spontaneous play or planned play, for me, it doesn't matter as long as there's play all the way. 

In the past, whether I've been participating in workshops, directing, performing or running courses...play is always, always at the centre of it all.  I believe that play frees us, that it can release our tensions, brighten our day and create safe spaces for us to work and exist in. And frankly, that is just the tip of the play iceberg.

During recent rehearsals for SCAM our colleagues brought their five year old daughter along. 

This led to many magical playful moments and changed the way I think and feel about play.  It was as a result of the sheer joy this little girl took from engaging with us in play, that I observed us adults gaining a total acceptance of extraordinary 'invisible' events and what's more, taking amazing creative leaps.  Play took on a whole new life.

It's also worth noting that it was impossible to disregard this little girl's play signals - she enabled flashes of imaginative brilliance in each of us - stimulating behaviour that it would potentially take quite a ritual to get adults to otherwise engage in. 

In his book, 'Play' (which I thoroughly recommend) Stuart Brown says: "Children don't need formal events to initiate play, because they do so naturally" - I have seen this proved in the past few weeks and so I agree - with gusto! 

Stuart Brown also says; "When we engage in fantasy play at any age, we bend the reality in our lives, and in the process we germinate new ideas and ways of being"...

Playing with a child present was extraordinarily helpful to my process of play immersion, she made play totally and utterly real for me and I became hyper-responsive, accepting alternate realities with every fibre of my being. 

This child's complete playfulness somehow enabled me to enhance my own play far more than I could have imagined possible.  It also allowed me to connect without question to each of the offers she made.   I found it breath-takingly exciting.  And it gave me much food for much thought and of course for further play!

The little girl created a character which was named 'Alan the Donkey' - one day she took all the adults on an invisible steam train ride to the beach...a train ride controlled by the helpful and knowing donkey called Alan and I must say that despite having done some improvising in my time, I don't think I've ever engaged so fully and for so long in a journey of such epic proportions...I believe that I could really see the steam billowing out of the front of our choo choo train - I was dangerously close to butterfly net territory and I wanted more!  You see, being part of Alan the Donkey's world - and of this I have no doubt - was an honour. 

Each and every adult present accepted Alan's reality and this was a place in which he could save the day, without question.  We absolutely gave ourselves over to PLAY with Alan, immersing ourselves in the truth of his world.  And Alan accepted us in.  MAGIC.

On a very personal note, allowing myself to exist entirely in somebody eles imagined circumstance was a unique, brilliant and extraordinary experience.  In one hour, on an invisible train-ride with a wonderful five year old who'd turned into a knowing donkey called Alan, I learnt things about play immersion that I couldn't have begun to know in donkey's years of play-practice!  You see - this was REAL PLAY. 

And so, my advice (for what it's worth) to anyone who plays to work and works to play is this - find a friend with a five year old and immediately immerse yourself into their world of imagination.  You will not regret it.   These little people have infinite treasures to share and so much to teach us.   Within the space of one beautiful and wholehearted journey I had more lightbulbs go off than I have in the past ten years of learning and practicing. Extraordinary doesn't even begin to cover it.   

I've never really and truthfully accepted the creation of a world so instantly or been able to truly "bend the reality in my life, and in the process germinate new ideas and ways of being"  My gratitude to this child knows no bounds - my creative process has - I am convinced - been hugely enhanced by this little world creator! 

To kids!  To Alan the Donkey!  To Invisible Steam Train Rides! 

And they say never work with animals and children - BALLS to that!

For ALAN the DONKEY

Love Letters Straight From The Heart...

Great loves can come in many forms. 

This we all know to be true.

I am a lucky woman - I get to be friends and ‘creative partners’ with one of mine. 

Ruth Urquhart.

She and I go back over twenty years.  

Which is a long time in old money. 

We’ve been working together a lot again recently - well, we’ve always worked together - but now we’re really starting to see new possibilities in each other. 

For the past year we’ve been working on our documentary ‘Looking for Maggie’ - a rewarding experience thus far, on so many levels.  For example, it has instigated the rekindling of many shared magical memories that perhaps had slipped previously into the mind-files marked ‘unknown’ or 'to be taken for granted'. 

Interviewing Maggie has helped me to understand our individual worths within the creative process and to better appreciate the purpose that our sometimes seperate directions have had over the past decade. 

What a gift. 

During this documentary we have discovered Maggie, the woman - where as young drama students we knew only Maggie Walker the school prinicpal.  We are infinitely proud of Maggie, who welcomed us into her home, and her life, with grace and opneness and for that we are so utterly grateful to her and to Wilf for everything he gave us too - we are telling Maggie's amazing story and we are honoured to be doing so. 

Ruth and I met because of Maggie...our story began when we trained together at East 15 Acting School - and it all started with a pair of rubber dolls. 

You read that correctly.

During the third term of the 1^st Year we were set  to work on Ibsen’s ‘The Master Builder’ - Ruth was to explore the character ‘Hilde Wangel’ and for me it was to be ‘Aline Solness’.   We were to be directed by Nick, I can’t remember his surname.  We read the scenes, discussed the characters and then Nick wanted us to ‘do our units and objectives together’ - so off we trotted to sit under a tree by the pond in front of the school and do just that.

For some reason to do with a feminist discussion surrounding the identity of the characters, we named one of our units ‘Rubber Dolls’ – later in the day we returned to Nick to go through the scene, only he announced that he wanted us to physicalise our units for him – we had five minutes preparation time and we quickly prepared a dodgy movement sequence –  mortified that we had to include the rubber dolls!  The sequence completed…we played it out to a bemused looking Nick.  I’d even say he looked flustered.  He asked us to stop and enquired as to what I intended to wear for the showing.  I was a little perplexed by this as it seemed a random and out of the blue question, the man was leaping ahead from a strange point.  It is worth adding at this point that it was a hot summer’s day and I was wearing a loose-fitting vest top from which one of my boobs had popped.  I don't rcall which.  From the strained silence Nick asked again what I'd be wearing in the showing, I was still oblivious to the errant boob.  At this point Ruth noticed that I was flying 'guns-out' and announced: ‘Wendy your boob’s popped out’ - Nick went pillar-box red.  Ruth fell over laughing and I tucked my naughty boob back into my vest and shrugged it off.  In Casablanca, Rick said ‘We’ll always have Paris’ – well, Ruth and I will always have ‘rubber dolls and errant boobs’. 

Ruth and I have taken many journeys together travelling many roads across the UK and Ireland – often the back of our car or van has been rammed with sets and costumes, sometimes with a tent and once with a baby.  We've slept in more of the motels and B&Bs this crazy land has to offer, than you could shake a stick at.  When we're out 'on the road' - to keep ourselves from going 'totally tonto' we amuse each other with the usual blend of dares, car games, sing-songs and crazy dialogues 'in-character' that you probably play yourself. 

The above song 'I'm a Cuckoo' is one that we used to belt out in a small touring van during a large anti-bullying tour a few years back - we'd adopted a couple of characters who we'd named Margery and Eleanor and they were a couple of 'sorts' - a pair of drunken upper class twits whom we'd discovered after a nude sea swim at North Berwick...we'd had a fine - if chilly dip in the briny at a very private part of the beach.  Not a soul had appeared for the thirty minutes we'd been in the water.  Just as we exited athe water and started to head up the beach to the sand dunes where our clothing awaited us - wouldn't you know it - a man appeared out of nowhere with his dog - there we stood chilly, wet and naked.  I decided that the best way forward was to brazen it out, but for some reason I spoke in a very heightened R.P accent - Margery was born with the line: 'Morning!  Jolly good day for a dip!  Bloody bracing!', then the pair of us marched off towards the dunes like Hattie Jacques & Joan Sims in Carry On Camping.   After this Margery and Eleanor would sing 'I'm a Cuckoo' at top pelt whenever it came on the radio. 

We've since written a short film about Margery and Eleanor which we plan to shoot later this year once the documentary is in post.   

Another time, the two of us escaped rehearsals for a brisk walk in North Yorkshire.  We took to the country roads and before long we were hopelessly lost.  Not for the first time and certainly not for the last!   We realised that we were driving in circles when we passed the same man three times.  Well, either that or he was fucking with us.  We parked up and had our walk in a random forest by a river somewhere, on our return the car broke down - the volvo who we'd named Eric was prone to doing this.  I hopped out and started pushing.  Now I don’t know if you’ve ever pushed a Volvo, but they’re fairly heavy buggers – especially on a slight upward incline.  It’s just as well that I’m a strapping Northern lass.  I pushed that sodding car for more than half a mile and finally we reached a village.  Two local men were watching us approach and I’ll never forget their 'useful' advice: ‘Are you sure you put petrol in it love?’ - both ‘hilarious’ and practical at the same time.  At this point Eric started to co-operate spluttering out starter noises, so I pushed like I was summoning the strength of the goddesses and he groaned into action.  Sisters are doing it for themselves...we were that day.  No petrol, my arse.

Ruth and I have also been long been known in a number of circles as the ‘political ones’ – amongst other less polite phrases!  At East 15, if we smelt an injustice we always had to shout about it.  In any case, one particular day we’d got ourselves very worked up about something we considered to be racist - so we’d decided to walk out of rehearsals in protest.  We had no money – not even a bus fare home and the rain was lashing it down.  There we stood all idealistic and passionate in that tempest, undeterred we walked through the storm outraged and indignant!  In reality, we must have looked like a right couple of twats…all long hair, good intentions and colourful strides. 

A quote from the big man could best sum up Ruth and I that day:

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage

And then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing.

But we had passion, we did!   We strode out into the pissing rain - and here’s the thing; If you are ever planning to make a big point, to protest for what you believe in and you want have your voice heard - never ever do it during the downpour of the decade and more importantly NEVER do it in these conditions if you are wearing very colourful yet incredibly cheap pants.  Our multi-coloured trousers became our multi-coloured legs.  Mine went green and red, Ruth’s went purple and black.  We spent that afternoon in the bathroom scrubbing our thighs until they were red raw and feeling all wounded and misunderstood – like you do when you’re a young well-meaning twat with a heap of passionate beliefs - all full of sound and fury!  We returned to rehearsals the following day after the director (very kindly) had called us at home to discuss the offending issue - our legs were still tinged with the dye from our pants under our replacement strides.

Some years later – in 2000 we started a theatre company together – we decided to call it ‘New Strides Productions’. 

Ruth and I have always been able to find a way to get things going on a wing and a prayer.  SAB!  Was no exception to this – a political comedy that Ruth had written about fox hunting and hunt saboteurs. We would do a short tour of the UK, playing Belfast, the Edinburgh Festival then Newcastle, London and Southampton.  With no budget!  Ruth even sold her fridge so that we could buy props and we asked our two good friends – Jem Rycraft and Tiran Aakel to join us for the tour. 

We rehearsed in Belfast, where Ruth lived at the time - we played our first gig in a theatre bar in the city centre.  We were dismayed that we only had three friends in our audience when the pub downstairs was jumping - so it was decided that we’d go downstairs in costume and drum up a bigger crowd, I was dressed as a giant fox (although it has been said, usually by Ruth, that I looked more like an oversized squirrel) Jem was a huntsman and Ruth was a hunt sab.  The plan was to run around the bar as ‘Roger the Fox’ and beg the drinkers for help – once I’d done a lap Jem would rush in and capture me followed by Ruth who would attempt to free me...

 SAB!  (Summer 2000)

L to R Ruth Urquhart, Jem Rycraft & Wendy Richardson

I ran into that heaving bar, dressed like the above picture, shouting ‘Help me…he's right on my tail!  Murder!  Murder!’ only to have everybody turn and look at me in a confused and somewhat angry fashion.  Jem ran behind me shouting ‘Come here you bastard!’ - it was then that we noticed the BBC were filming Patrick Kielty's stand up in the bar – Keilty was standing speechless at his mic.  As Ruth entered, we were already tearing out of there – nobody from the BBC Production Team had stopped us at the door!  I suppose it's a tough call to stop a bird dressed as a giant squirrel chased by a man in a red coat and a horse riding hat.  They must have thought that we were something to do with the gig – and not the ACCIDENTAL hijackers that we actually were.  I often wonder if Patrick Kielty remembers us with a shiver or if there is a strange piece of footage out there somewhere sitting on a BBC archive shelf under ‘Patrick Kielty Hijackers'.  Mortified we returned upstairs and played our show to our three mates. 

And then we went onto Edinburgh – where I reckon we redefined the term ‘an intimate audience’.  However, one of our small but happy throng was a Scotsman reviewer – and this is one of my all-time favourite reviews – especially the last comment in his first paragraph! 

The Scotsman Review (Thursday 10th August 2000)

Rating: 3 stars

UP THERE with the most harrowing tales of suffering for art’s sake must be this story of a troupe from Belfast, New Strides, who sold the author’s fridge to bring the anti-hunt play Sab! to a church hall in Montgomery Street.  In Ruth Urquhart’s case, the £25 the old Electrolux raised was money well spent.  For it provided one Fringe virgin with his first and probably most memorable taste of what it’s all about:  passionate, penniless actors playing for a pittance to a pitiful audience.

If the ultimate thespian sacrifice is to sell your fridge to play the Fringe, then the ultimate audience is surely one man and a dog. Sab! failed, for there were two of us, plus a chap with an Instamatic.  But Ruth Urquhart, Wendy Richardson, Jeremy Rycraft and Tiran Aakel  gave it their all.

Sab! tackles the issue of fox hunting in a subtle and, at times, sophisticated way.  And while this amusing, if not totally balanced, look at the hunting debate is played against the backdrop of a bed sheet and two curtains, it doesn’t matter.  It’s not often one gets to be a third of an audience and it was a privilege.

Adrian Morgan

The Glasgow files! 

By now we'd discovered the incomparable Nicki Vincent - one of the funniest comic actors and nicest people that you are ever likely to meet - we were doing a show called 'Purge' at the Arches Theatre, Glasgow.  The Unison conference was in town and we'd been invited by delegates (who attended the show) to go to their end of conference knees up.

Free booze?  We were all over it! 

Later in the wee small hours of the morning, whilst we were at the bar, or somesuch, somebody nominated us to do a group karaoke number - 'It's Raining Men' - Now - if you ever want to crucify a song - the trick is definately to wait until you are very tired and quite drunk after a show - when you'd never intended to sing in the first place.  That'll kill it. 

The amazing thing was that once we got up and made a right tit of ourselves the whole room started to join in and soon everybody was in a massive circle on the dance floor singing and dancing. Nice one! 

Of all the things I've done with Ruth few have made me prouder than 'Tea With Mrs Pankhurst' a couple of years ago.  - Together with Nicki Vincent and the incredible Lori Mclean - another amazing actor and top human being - we performed in Essex, Glastonbury and London at the TUC! 

'Tea With Mrs Pankhurst'.

And so, the SCHNIFTER SISTERS were born. 

Ruth, Nicki, Lori and me! 

We were out in deepest Essex rehearsing the show on Valentines Night - so after work the four of us went for a meal, we selected an Indian restaurant and amongst all of the lovely Essex couples in walked four likely sorts.  We caused a bit of a stir but were secreted away into a booth and fed for the evening.  The waiters were as sound as a pound and bantered away with us until at the end of the night they said that we could have an apperitif on the house.  Bonus!  They then went off to sort this out and were waylayed by another customer, so when they returned with the bill they'd forgotten the booze. Nicki asked him: 'What about that little schnifter you were going to give us?' - they mustn't know what a schnifter is in Essex...as the guys was confused beyond all measure - and innuendo hung heavy in the air!  After we translated and he'd stopped laughing the four drinks arrived.  The schnifter sisters were at once created...

They struck again at a holiday camp in Coldingham - we'd gone for a pint after rehearsals and the first sign that all was not well was all of the other women in the bar were ordering two halfs each whilst we schnifters were going for the full pint pots. 

There was a disco on and so after a couple of jars of the good stuff we decided to have a bit of a dance and let it all hang loose.  As is our want.  The disco was a ropey one at best - we boogied the night away to the sounds of the Bee Gees, Bucks Fizz, Rod Stewart and Rick Astley. 

At the end of the evening the DJ did a big thankyou to the ladies sitting to his left, all the ladies sitting to his right and then signalled at us at the back and thanked the 'what-have-you's'!  We cheered with gusto.  The Schnifters had struck again. 

In the past twenty years Ruth and I have carried grenade launchers through the city of London (props for a show), scrambled up snowy country lanes in wildest West Yorkshire carrying sacks of coal on our backs to find 'out of the way' and well-priced scout huts for winter rehearsals, we've been Devonshire pirate tea-ladies, we've made human pyramids in honour of our wonderful friend Rabb - then had to 'abort mission' cos we were too wasted to make it across his rug before he'd had time to have a wee, we've invented operas about 'Sporks' with our lovely friend Matthew Blake, we've seen candles dancing, watched the sky light up at night, swam nude in the ocean, been plopped into the centre of the biggest grandest theatre in Kings Lynn with nothing but a TIE curtain-set behind us, we've survived the Perterhead 'Slaughtered Lamb' experience, got through the day on £5 P.Ds, invented the 'smart cage', been rubbish at having piles of dosh - spending it all on project development, rehearsal spaces, props, pies and booze.

I’ve pulled some stunts on Ruth in my time – I've had her ridden like a horse during a workshop, had her play a magical butterfly amongst a crowd of screaming kids and with her I've been caught in a pincer movement by some naughty boys in Dundee who decided that it would be fun to bundle us to the floor during an anti-bullying workshop.  She's sent me to hug a tree by the roadside in my undies then driven off without me, she's had me moon our friends on a South-Eastern motorway - only to look on in horror as a lorry driver pulled into the central lane, between the two cars at just the wrong moment - nearly crashing his truck from laughing at my arse - the cheek of it! 

And this is the tip of the iceberg - what it all adds up to is total trust, big love and a time shared that we can invest into our future work and liasons.  Get in!

We were always the pair of hippies with the crazy notions and the big ideas and I hope that it always stays that way...

To Ruth!  To our Schnifter Sisters, Nicki and Lori!  To Jem and Rabb, Tiran, James and Matthew!  To Maggie!